So You Are Homosexual. Now What?

What a life I have lived!

I’m well past three decades in this world now and marching quickly toward four. Those 30+ years have brought a lot of life experiences. Sadly, there are so many that I am so very ashamed of.

Sometimes I truly can’t believe the things I have done.

How could I have been so disrespectful and rude to my parents at times? My son would be grounded until he has great-grandkids if he pulled some of the same garbage I did.

How could I have said and done the things I did when I was in high school and college? The bravado. The brashness. The cutting words. The sharp tongue. The uncaring heart.


How could I think such evil thoughts? I’m a Christian! A lifelong one at that! How could I say such mean and angry things? Where was the patient love of Jesus? Where was the kind heart of our God? How could I do things that are completely, 180 degrees, the opposite of what God commands?


Sometimes just thinking about the sins I have committed in my life makes my heart race. It gives me more butterflies than a high school first date. It makes me greener in the face than the swine flu. Our God is so good, so gracious, so generous. He showers me with blessings. He offers boundless love. Yet I repay his merciful love with all these countless sins?


My chest hurts. Why? Because daily I cower in the corner, groaning with guilt, and beating my chest crying out, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Luke 18)

Why else does my chest hurt? Because I am in strict training. Every single day I fight my urges and cravings to follow the passions of my flesh–my cravings to think, speak, and do whatever I want. I fight this. Like it’s a knock-down, drag-em-out, life-or-death grudge match. If only I can beat down my sinful nature and make it my slave to obey the Lord and do what is right! (1 Corinthians 9:27)

Yesterday I posted on this blog about homosexuality and about what God has to say about homosexuality. Some of the responses I received were the same as responses I have received before:

“You have no idea what it is like to be gay!”

And you know what? Those people are right. I don’t. I have absolutely no clue what it is like. I have never had any desire for another male in any way. I have no idea what it is like to be participating in a lifestyle that is at the forefront of American controversy right now. I have no idea what it is like to live a homosexual lifestyle.

But on the other hand, in a sense, I do know what it is like.

I know what it is like to hear what God says in the Bible and hate it. I know what it is like to hear Scripture and think, “No way! I don’t want to do that. In fact, I won’t do that!” I know what it is like to want to change what God says to somehow make what I do OK.

I know what it is like to make excuses for what I have done. I’m good at that. I can find any and every excuse under the sun. And usually, I feel pretty good about myself when I make those excuses. It always feels good to have my choices and actions justified. (At least for a while.)

I know what it is like to fight and wrestle, to be torn and tugged in multiple directions.

I know what it is like to feel like I can’t help myself. Sometimes I see no end in sight. “This is the way I am. I can’t change that. There’s no way I can change that. This is me, and I can’t fight it,” I think. Why should I not do something that feels so good? Why should I not do something that seems so natural? Why should I not think, speak, act as I want? After all, it’s my life! And I’m not really hurting anyone!

No, I don’t specifically know what it is like to be gay. But I do know what it is like to fight sin–even the sins that I don’t want to admit are sins.

And here’s what I also know . . .

I know what it is like to hear God speak repeatedly in Scripture, “Return to the Lord your God!” I know what it is like for a holy and just God to call me to turn from my sinful ways and to turn back to him.

I know what it is like to raise my guilty head, sulking in shame, and see Jesus. I know what it is like to see his outstretched hands nailed to a cross–for me, of all people! I know what it is like to see him writhing in agony, suffering the sting of my sins. I know what it is like for my ears to echo with his bellowing cry, “It is finished.” I know what it is like to see him risen, living, and extending healed hands and feet to me, of all people!

I know what it is like to struggle with sin. I know what it is like to be crushed with guilt. But I also know what it is like to have my burden removed, my conscience soothed, and my slate wiped clean. I know what it is like to have a sure and certain hope for an eternity that does not belong to me.

And finally, I know what it is like to hear my Savior tenderly encourage, “Go now and leave your life of sin.” I know what it is like to wipe the sorrowful tears from my eyes, to stand up, and to march forward with renewed strength. I know what it is like to pick the boxing gloves back up, to put the armor of God back on, and to prepare myself for the fight.

It will still be a struggle. It will still be a battle. No, it will be all out war.

But with a gracious and forgiving Savior who holds the power over sin and Satan, I will fight. I will battle. I will press on toward the goal and throw off everything that hinders.

I do not know what it is like to be gay. I never will. But I do know what it is like to be crushed by the commands of God. And I do know what it is like to fight off temptation and sin with my new life under Christ and with Christ.

My prayer now is that every sinner–not at all only those with homosexual sins, but every sinner–would join me.

Join me daily in falling at the feet of our mighty God in humble repentance to cry out, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!”

Join me daily in falling at the foot of the cross in humble thanks to cry out, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain!”

Join me daily in rising to leave a life of sin and live anew for the Lord.

About Pastor Phil Huebner

Pastor. Missionary. Principal. Husband. Father. Serving in love as each.

Posted on May 1, 2013, in Church, School and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. This is extremely well-spoken and well-written. There, but for the grace of God, go I! Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer….

  2. I appreciate your making the point of how sin is in our very nature. Whether our “pet sin” is one or another, we daily struggle with it. Praise be to God who forgives our sins and gives us the strength to overcome them.

  3. Wow. I can’t believe people who think like this still exist. Amazing.

    • You are amazed that people believe they are sinners?

      • I am amazed that anyone, regardless of what they believe, thinks it is their right to tell another person that what they feel in their heart and mind is a ‘sin’ and that they should force themselves to change. Why not let God do that? It is not your job to do that. God is the judge. Will you be judged upon you unwillingness to listen to some parts of the bible? Do you cut your hair? (Leviticus) Would you stone your own son for his sins? (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) Who picks and chooses what rules are real and which are not? Why such a focus on homosexuals?

      • Ok, so let God bring people to change. Granted.

        But how?

        God doesn’t speak in dreams or visions. He doesn’t whisper in our ears. He doesn’t write in the clouds.

        Rather, He speaks through his Word which is in the print of books and on the lips of people.

        So I simply share God’s message.

        And there is no focus on homosexuals. I clearly stated in this post all sins and all sinners need repentance.

      • On a different note, I want to say that I appreciate that you allow these comments in this forum. I had assumed that my post would not be allowed. Thank you for that.

  4. I Love the post the focus should always be on the individual sinner and his or her sins once we do that we take our mind off of others. I cannot as Paul said the least of these look at my brothers and sisters in Christ Without looking at my sins.

  5. Nobody actually cares what you have done during your life that you regret. As I said in my post on your earlier article, which I’m sure you will delete, it’s what you and your church have done to the LGBT community that’s the problem.

    And your assertation that you understand what homosexuals go through is laughable. Wait until a gay man keeps you from serving in the military, fires you for your faith, helps make a law in another country that condemns your brothers and sisters to death, doesn’t let you see your wife in the hospital, or beats you on the street. Maybe then you’ll come close to getting it. But I doubt it.

    • You know, using your line of arguments and logics, I could say, “Look what you unbelievers have done to us Christians over 2,000 years!”

      But I will not say that because it would not be accurate about you personally (that I know of).

      And also, about me writing about my sins, you missed the point of the post.

      • I could look at what unbelievers have done to Christians over 2,000 years. Of course, I could also look at how Christians issued the death penalty on non-Christians as early as the Codex Theodosanius in 429 and say that there’s something to be said for self-defense.

        But what would the point be? I deliberately used examples that happened during your lifetime, that were committed by your peers and colleagues for a reason – to point out how you are so eager to condemn the LGBT community but so reluctant to raise a voice against those so eager to drive them away from your ‘message of love.’

    • Oh and by the way, to say that you and “nobody” cares about my fight against sin and temptation is very unloving.

      I pray I never say that to someone.

      • If you during your childhood, high school years, or adulthood have ever called someone a f-g, a homo, a queer or a fairy, (and since you went to MLC, which I’m very familiar with, the odds are very great that you have) then you have really no ground to talk about someone being unloving.

      • So I suppose Paul shouldn’t have been an apostle then.

      • Who was talking about Paul? We were speaking about the horrific manner Christians in today’s world treat LGBT individuals, things that you so far refuse to acknowledge even happens.

      • You suggested that anyone who previously sinned in high school or college ought not be a pastor or teacher….or at the very least ought not talk to others about sin.

        But if that were true, Paul would have no right to call Christians to repent whom he previously tried to kill.

  6. I don’t care one way or the other if Jason Collins is gay. I do agree that is not and should not be a media event, just as I feel that no ones sexual life should be a media event or celebrated in a parade.

    I read the Bible, but wouldn’t dare try to hold my own against anyone who wants to argue a point by quoting verses. I do the best I can in my life and try to be the person God wants me to be. I often fail, but I get up and try again to be better – I think that is all any of us can do.

    Thank you for this follow up which eases my thoughts from your sermon on not congratulating Jason Collins. It bothered me for much of the day, as it seemed off from what I usually read from you, it seemed so negative, bordering on (what Scott Cooper stated) “hate and bigotry”.

    I don’t know if God created gay people gay. I don’t know why a loving God would give these people the inclination and then not want them to go and find that love in their lives. Thankfully I am not a Pastor and I don’t have to (or want to) worry about what happens in the privacy of peoples bedrooms, but I understand that you do.

    They will face their maker with their sins, as I will face him with mine. I believe their sins are no greater then mine and mine no greater than theirs. I think we all need to pray with and for each other every day….that’s our job.

    • Jane, you are very right that all sins are equal in that they all break God’s commands. You are also right that we all will stand before Jesus our Judge on the Last Day. However, when someone stands before Jesus their Judge with their sins and is not sorry (repentant) for their sins….that will be a HUGE problem for them on Judgment Day.

      That is my concern. As I have mentioned numerous times, ALL sinners need to turn from sin and turn to Jesus. Not doing so can be damaging and damnable–regardless of what that sin might be!

  7. I’m sorry the Christian community hasn’t shown real love to the homosexual community. I can see why many have felt rejected, as if they were struggling alone, and on top of that called names! I think this whole discussion has shown us that “born this way” same sex desires are as legitimate as heterosexual desires. No man wants to be inflamed with lust, heterosexual or homosexual. And yet, most men are “born this way.” What boy wants to be constantly thinking about lustful thoughts? Who chooses that?No one. And yet, what man doesn’t have them? Thanks Pastor Huebner for being vulnerable enough to talk about what you struggle against. How sick we all are! Yet, Jesus says the most amazing thing in his word, “I only came for the sick.” (Matthew 9:12) Jesus only wants sinners. But those who think they are “well”, Jesus can’t help.

    the dialogues that I have read, have convinced me that I need to do more to show love to the homosexual community by eating with them, befriending them, loving them, so that no one thinks Christians believe that homosexuals are second class citizens. I often talk a lot about love, but I seldom put it into action by “loving my neighbor.”

    • Ben, you are certainly right that all people, including all Christians, can certainly learn to be more loving toward all other people–especially those struggling with any particular sin.

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